Saturday, September 14, 2019

Shower the horse, I’m done

I was driving with the cost centres a few months ago when the youngest asked "Dad, why is she singing about showering a horse?"

Err - ok. I see your mother's batshit lunatic gene is not recessive as originally thought. I obviously don't say this to him - although he knows what genes are I really don't want to have to explain the phrase batshit lunatic.

"What do you mean?" I replied. "On the radio - the words are shower the horse I'm done" he responded. I listened to the song and it's by Anne-Marie and the words are actually "Ciao, adios I'm done" which I explain to my son. But I've since found out it's a common mistake and it's often misheard

The song is a break up song - sung by a wronged girlfriend to a cheating partner who has had enough and decides to end their relationship. And that's where I am at the moment.

If you think I'm going to get all deep and emotional on you please don't worry - I'm as deep as a puddle and am quite happy being that way. It's nothing to do with an interpersonal relationship but I'm starting to know what the singer means. It's my relationship with Las Vegas - and it's an abusive one.

Like all abusive relationships it started out like a fairytale - she dazzled me with bright lights, plied me with free alcohol and seduced me with her promises of wealth gained from hours at the poker tables. 

But as our relationship has progressed I've started to feel like I'm being controlled - she sends me e-mails asking when I'm coming back, she tempts me in with low room rates then tacks on numerous fees at the last minute. Resort fees are going nowhere but up, then to add insult to injury restaurants and bars are now starting to add on concession fees - so I'm paying an inflated price, then being charged a fee to pay an inflated price because we're in Vegas. And finally we come to the pièce de résistance - the reverse guaranteed poker tournament where all entry fees above a certain amount are retained by the casino. What sort of money obsessed organisation would think up such a perverse structure? I'm talking about poker's worst enemy - no other than Sheldon Adelson. I can think of no worse individual for anyone to give money to - he constantly lobbies to restrict online gambling, not for any altruistic or moral reasons but in order to protect his own bricks and mortar casino empire. As an aside he's also a very vocal critic of the 420 movement - not my cup of tea personally but if that floats your boat it's another reason to refuse to frequent his establishments. 

I'm almost stuck in this relationship for the next year or so due to work commitments but at some stage I will have had enough - when I do it will be a case of ciao, adios I'm done. 

But she won't care, I'd be surprised if she even noticed. There will always be another one coming along to fill my place so there will be zero reaction - I would get the same reaction if I offered to shower the horse. But then I’d look like a batshit lunatic and I’m sure that I’m not the carrier of that gene. 


  1. It is a real shame that what was once a great place of escape for us has now become just another money grubbing spot. I love it when you see the hotels try to justify the resort fee. "It includes wifi, free local telephone calls, ..."

    1. I can sort of understand ripping off the one off tourists as for most foreign visitors it’s a one off visit. But what I can’t get my head around is the repeat visitors - they know they’re getting ripped off but still continue to come in record numbers.

      I guess that until there’s another recession and visitor numbers start to fall then he gouging will continue unabated