"I'm having the best time – I'm winning most of the hands" the crasian (he's not Chinese, maybe Thai or Vietnamese but by definition he's a crasian) next to me said. He was right – he was winning the most hands but he certainly wasn't winning 2 things: the most money or any friends.
Rewind 24 hours or so and I'm sat next to this same guy but not for long. For 2 reasons – he's on my left and raising stupid amounts every hand, the second being his very dubious personal hygiene. His hair is greasy and he smells like he's been up for 3 days solid. There's no way a healthy person should smell so bad but having been sat down for 5 minutes he makes it worse by walking over to the rail, smoking half a cigarette then blowing smoke over the whole table as he sits down (he continues to do this every 10 minutes or so throughout my session). Bizarrely I take an immediate dislike to this guy. So I request a seat change and move to the other end of the table – the rest of the session is pretty unremarkable apart from our crasian's play which is pretty insane and he manages to lose 3 or 4 buy ins over the space of an hour.
So now it's the next night and our crasian has again taken the seat to my left – he looks like he might have actually taken a shower but he's wearing the same clothes so still smells pretty bad. Unfortunately there are no free seats so I'm stuck with this loon on my left. After an hour or so I decide to give it one more round then leave as the smell is putting me off my beer – I told you it was bad!! Crasian is playing his usual game and I've folded most of the time when he turns to me and tells me he's having the best time because he's winning most of the hands, he then follows up with "Why do you play if you fold all the time?" to which I don't respond. He doesn't look like he remembers me from the previous night – might be due to a complete lack of awareness or maybe his eyesight is damaged from the bad aroma that seems to follow him around all the time. I mean to leave but I'm dealt cards whilst in the BB so end up playing – I probably can't stomach another full round so I decide to play till my button then leave (I'd normally leave UTG but got distracted before I could tell the dealer that I was leaving).
Crasian makes his standard raise to $12 whilst UTG and there are 4 or 5 callers before I look down at J-6 off. Normally I'm folding like a cheap suit there but I'm last to act and there's already over $60 in the pot and I'm getting a decent price to see the flop so I call. Flop comes J-6-6. I check and crasian bets $25 or so. It folds round to me and I call. Turn is a blank and I again check call $50. River is another J which is actually a bad card – if crasian has a J then we're chopping and if he has a 6 he's possibly not calling a bet. There's no bigger house on the board as the turn is a 2 or 3. I decide that he's likely to bet if I check and he does. He bets $75 and I shove (I started the hand with about $350 and crasian had about the same). He now thinks about it – this probably means he doesn't have a J and I'm beginning to regret such a large raise. This is the 1st time in 2 days I've seen him actually think about a hand but he announces call and I show. He turns a 6 over then mucks and tells me I got lucky – err ok. As I'm scooping I turn to him and said "In answer to your previous question – I only need to win one hand".
Now I'm hoping he leaves but after a 30 second cigarette and again remembering to blow smoke over the table he's back and rebuys. But as I said the smell was putting me off my beer so I decided to stick to my plan and leave with a tidy profit.